The Irish comics in the Milk Race

After watching the live TV coverage of the opening stage of the Tour of Britain today, won by Belgium star Wout van Aert, I was delighted to see Irishman Rory Townsend take fifth.

For this provided me with the perfect cue for another Irish story in this second retro sketch of the former Tour of Britain Milk Race, the precursor of today's modern Tour. This time it’s a look at the less serious side of competition, interviewing a bunch of comics riding for Ireland, led by Sean Lally. Lally was one of the funniest Irish racing cyclists you could ever meet. Interviewing him and the Irish team during the 1978 Tour of Britain Milk Race was just one long belly laugh. Few riders could match Lally for laughs. Lally was the main culprit among the Irish; his face was seemed permanently creased with laughter lines. He had this reporter scribbling frantically to get down all he said. Also in the team were Billy Kerr, Tony Lally, John Shortt, Jim Maloney and Oliver McQuaid. Impossible to recall the facts of it, but it made a page in the mag… “Laughing all the way”. Fools? No. For they were also among the fastest finishers in the business. In the 50mph downhill Stoke on Trent finish that day, Shortt was fourth, McQuaid sixth, Sean Lally 10th. Tony Lally was the current Irish road champion, past winner of the Tour of Ireland and the Woolmark GP in England. Kerr won the Tour of the North at Easter and the Irish “25”. They coined the phrase, “Seriously funny”. For the lovely thing about the Irish is they will poke good natured fun at anyone and mostly at themselves. They won’t spare anyone, even the Americans when they first sent a team to the Milk Race. It was a big deal for the Americans. Nice guys, and very serious about everything, calling out to each other during the stage – “We’re on the climb now Michael. Are you OK?” The Irish boys were cracking up. And soon started imitating them…. Are youse still thar Patrick, you hang on a bit longer Patrick; we’re nearly over the railway bridge…. But don’t mock the USA. They were on a steep learning curve and got better every year, until their Matt Eaton won the 1983 Milk Race. Lally said his team has a great plan for the next stage. Did we want to hear it? Go on. “WE go like f… and hang on.” Cue for more raucous laughter. I daresay there must be a few comedians riding the 2021 Tour of Britain today. For example, race organiser Mick Bennett has some good lines. And did you know, he’s got racing form? He’s ridden a few Milk Races during an illustrious career which included two Olympic bronze medals in the team pursuit (1972 and 1976 Games), plus a Commonwealth Games gold. A look through the archives reveals a Milk Race best overall placing of 17th in 1978 – the year of my Irish team interview - with best daily placings of fourth in the prologue and 8th and 10th on stages. I recall a Bennett funny during the Scottish Milk Race. (The Scottish Milk Marketing Board was a separate entity to the other one which is why Scots had their own stage race). Anyway, Bennett was riding like fury in a bid to regain the leaders after a mechanical. It was quite a ride along winding lanes and he was going full gas. As soon as he regained the group, he turned his head to the following press car, raised his arm and gave us the thumbs up. He had some good quips. Just before a stage start riders and officials were all milling by the food wagon. Bennett was helping himself to a banana and whatever else would fit into his jersey pockets for the stage when he noticed that I’d spotted a big box of tea bags. “I never take those,” he said. Playing the straight man, I said. Why ever not? “Because they never hand up hot water,” came his deadpan reply.