Government make a nonsense of their cycling safety review

This is the bizarre story of how two years ago the government, which continues to invest next to nothing in cycling safety, managed to contrive to make cycling less safe.

They did so by a rule change to allow parking on some cycle lanes without first consulting with and then not telling  any local authority nor Cycling UK about it.
(The photo shows a car preparing to turn left by straddling the solid white line of a cycle way).

This act of vandalism came to light following the Department for Transport’s (DfT) 2018 review of cycling safety when eagle-eyed Roger Geffen, Cycling UK Policy Director, discovered to his alarm a secret rule change at odds with the Highway Code.

He now fears it could become incorporated into the next edition of the road user’s bible and that will certainly undermine cycling safety on cycle lanes.

I will attempt to explain in a nutshell what I have gleaned from the detailed explanation of the complex legislation surrounding this matter, published on the excellent Cycling UK website.

You know those solid white lines on cycle lanes which we all love because vehicles are not allowed to park on them? | Well, vehicles are allowed to park on them now.

Well, not all cycle lanes with solid whites! 

The DfT decided that solid white lines put down before the rule change in 2016 will remain sacrosanct - it remains an offence to park a vehicle in them.

It is the cycle lanes marked with solid white lines put down after the 2016 rule change where a driver is now permitted to park his or her hazard. 

But how to tell the post 2016 lanes from earlier models?

Will anyone know?  Are records kept of when the white lining was put down!  Are they date stamped?

Geffen warns that this is a situation which could become really messy and he is striving to get the DfT to drop their new ruling.

He told Cycling UK magazine:  “We now have a situation where the Highway Code is out of step with the law. So, unless the Government reverses the 2016 rule change, they will soon need to make a change to the Highway Code which will worsen cycle safety, as part of a review that is supposed to improve cycle safety.”

STOP PRESS.

No money for cycling in the government’s recent Budget.

No change there, then – not even small change!

So much for Extinction Rebellion’s urgent call to reduce carbon emissions (rapidly rising, according to the latest news) which could be achieved by promoting cycling as an alternative to always using the car.

Instead, they now permit motors to go where no motors were allowed to go before, into protected cycle lanes.

*I no longer doubt the intelligence of  computers after the spell check

on this piece recommended changing the abbreviation DfT to Daft!

Council inspectors to monitor Velolife cafe!

I learn in Cycling Weekly this week that the Royal Borough of Windsor and Maidenhead are to post council inspectors to monitor cycling behaviour at Velolife Café, in their ongoing and absurd bid to stop “cyclist meets” there – whatever constitutes such a meet; the council cannot explain this even to themselves and say they don't want to stop cyclists going there!
But if riders should do whatever it is the council say they shouldn't be doing - appear to be meeting -  the café will be in breach of planning rules and the owner could face legal action.

The real reason for the council’s shit behaviour of course is to pacify nearby residents who have apparently complained cyclists are a nuisance. One complaint was that they have impeded a local resident's access to reach his home via a driveway customers  cross to reach the café.   You would think that could be cleared up by advising customers  to keep the drive clear.

But when a council inspector denied that cyclists were a “visual disturbance” and lowered the tone of the area it would seem there is more to this than story than meets the eye and we can only presume that someone had said that they were.

It was encouraging that the council quashed that viewpoint but confusing they have persisted in their harassment of the café owner and cycling clubs over a condition in the planning rules they cannot explain adequately, making matters worse by the threat of legal action against the café owner.


Thanks to crowdfunding, Velolife Café has received over £18,000 in donations to help pay for their defence, if this goes to court.

In the meantime, the inspectors are moving in for teas and a slice. And to spy on the pedalling customers.

Where will it all end?

Could we see a park and ride scheme being set up down the road in either direction of the café - near Reading - to spare the residents the nuisance of witnessing the arrival of cyclists on bikes.

Cyclists would be required to leave their bikes in the park and ride area and board closed prison vans loaned from a security company, one rider per cell. I don’t know how many each van will take, eight riders, maybe?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Parked ready to ride
 Anyway, in this way they could arrive at the café unseen, exit the vans and

go directly into a covered walkway, like those connecting aircraft to terminal buildings.

These arrangements will, at a stroke, spare the residents from a “visual disturbance” of seeing riders in funny, gaily coloured cycling garb. And spare them the racket of all those freewheels, not to mention the horror of overhearing laughter and merry chat.

Once inside the café, inspectors, wearing jack boots and black shirts bearing some sort of insignia will be tasked to determine whether the cyclists are in a “meeting”.

Two cyclists together OK. Three or more…that could constitute a planned meeting! Break it up.

But how to prevent this in the first place? 

Easy.

First of all, cyclists shoud only be allowed at the counter one or two at a time.

They must sit only in pairs at tables shielded on both sides by high-sided screens so they cannot see adjacent tables. In the style of voting booths.

An inspector will monitor each pair to see they do not exchange result sheets or race programmes - which may be interpreted as a meeting of some sort -  and that they only speak in whispers.

Hopefully, this will all be sorted before October 31 when, in the event of a No Deal Brexit things might take a sinister turn.

According to the latest Private Eye, the army are set to take over running local council services because local civil servants will be pressed into service by Whitehall to help deal with the chaos and disruption expected as we leave the EU.

Best to see Royal Borough’s operation as a dry run in public control if Nigel Farage’s Brexshit Party win the general election and impose martial law.

Tea and a slice, please. No sugar.