Monday 20 May 2019

*HAVE YOU READ THE NEWS TODAY, OH BOY?




SEA LEVELS to drown coastal areas; 
crops to fail, insects to die, we're to follow.
MAY ENDS IN JUNE

SUNDERLAND THRO TO CUP
ITALIAN LEADS GIRO
Apocalypse and politics alongside entertainment and the trivia of everyday life.

This is the “Climate Emergency”, as The Guardian now calls climate change, recognizing the need to ramp  up the aggro.

Scientists postulate that the countdown for the extinction of all life on earth will begin in 30 or so years from now, unless there is global action to curb the excesses of growth economics which has underpinned our way of death. It began with the Industrial Revolution spewing smoke into the atmosphere 200 years ago and has been exacerbated largely in ignorance by human carbon burning activities ever since.

In view of all this, I’d like to suggest that the looming chaos should be the major story in the media, spelling out what we must do to stave off the worst of it.

And governments should hold public information meetings in every town and city to brief everyone on the worst case scenario unfolding, empowering people with a strategy to get on top of this.

At the moment we’re sleep walking in the dark and the ongoing Extinction protests are designed to wake us up.

So far measures taken to reduce pollution have been woefully inadequate. In fact, major car manufacturers have increased the risk by conning the public into believing diesels were cleaner when they are spewing out more muck than petrol engines.

I feel that the extinction stories lose their gravitas as they compete for our attention with regional and national news, sport, entertainment.

I can hear the breakfast conversation. “I see were all going to be extinct.  Response: Oh, yes, bud did you read how Yates had a disastrous time trial in the Giro?

The extinction story needs a black border on the page and the headline: “We’re fucked.”

Many people remain in denial of course. I’d love for them to be right. But the scientific consensus seems pretty sound and very scary.

Roger Hallam, co-founder of the Radical Think Tank, the organiser of the Extinction Rebellion, galvanised support for the current protests going on around the country when he outlined the bleak current scientific thinking on man-made climate change.

Here’s the link.


When I listened to this my heart sank.

To summarise.  The loss of West Antarctica ice means the sun’s heat will no longer be reflected back into the space and instead by absorbed in the ground. So, as well the rise in sea levels, we can expect a huge rise in temperatures.

Lands in the equatorial regions will feel it first. When their crops die it will trigger a huge exodus - millions heading for comparatively cooler climbs.

i.e. That’s us. Here - Northern Europe including this off-shore island.

Meanwhile, holiday companies exhort us to burn more carbon by flying abroad in the pursuit of pleasure - to get away from it all.  If they could get us to the Moon I’d be tempted.

Here’s my random selection of recent headlines illustrating how the impact of the climate emergency stories are lost as they compete for attention alongside the usual fare.

In the best traditions of fake news I’ve made up a couple of them, in a bid to create a laugh with this otherwise crazy piece

 Headline stories of the week.

 POLITICS

Tory grey suits tell May time to go.

“May ends in June” – as The Daily Mirror headline put it.

SPORT

Italians on top in Giro, but Roglic remains poised to challenge for overall victory.

EXTINCTION

Loss of the West Antarctica ice sheet would raise global sea levels by 5 metres, drowning coastal cities around the world.

HOLIDAYS (advert)

Discover Norway’s beautiful coast in 12 day cruise...

At pre-sea rise prices starting at £1,249.



Team Sky lives on because the new sponsor’s name, IEONOS, just doesn’t roll off the tongue. But their dark coloured jerseys are inspirational because they are rendered invisible to the opposition.



HEALTH

 “No jab, no school” policy needed to curb measles.

POLLUTION

Fall in polluting cars entering London’s low emission zone, but millions still dying from toxic air.



BOLLOCKS

Cameron’s Brexshit (Excusing himself from creating Brexshit hell) book due in September.

INSECT numbers down at Chelsea Flower Show.

Brexshit Party ahead in EU election poll …

Brexshiter Nigel Farage - to cheers of “Ni-Gel, Ni-Gel”  at North of England rally - tells fellow drunks the EU can’t tell us what to do. If we want to have round chimney pots we shall have them.

ART

Titan works to be shown together for first time since 1704.

MORE POLITICS

Boris to bid for May’s job.  It’s no secret he wants to park his bike in No 10’s hallway.

British heavy metal put the “snot and piss” back into rock.

Film of the week: “Birds of Passion”.

The “Firm” opens at Hampstead Theatre.

SCARY

Bowel cancer on rise among younger people.

Police tear gas students in Brazil.

FAKERY

Trump pardons fraudster.

EXTRATERRESTERIAL

Vogons, from the planet Vogsphere (in Douglas Adams Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) give notice that the Earth is to be destroyed to make way for an intergalactic bypass.

No one bothers to read the planning consents to register their objection and earth is duly destroyed in a less than a minute. The grandparents of today’s Brexshitters take refuge in a pub where they place paper bags over their heads.

Of course, in that story earth was restored. But that was fiction.

This isn’t.

*From A Day in the Life sung by John Lennon on the Beatles brilliant Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band album.

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